Sunday, 17 December 2006

Snakes on a plane: the sequel

I see there is talk of a sequel to "Snakes on a plane". Well, Hollywood could do worse than a Hebridean version - otherwise known as "Cows on a beach". Flickr user Paddimir indicates that some early footage may already have been taken on the east beach of Vatersay:


On our second trip to Vatersay, we were forced to weave in and out of the cows to get to a desired spot on the beach. There was no bovine hassle - though we were monitored for the duration of our stay. The cows would go and munch on the machair for a while, then spend a few hours sitting on the warm sand, watching the fishing boats chug across the horizon.


It's always a good idea to keep an eye on them when sharing a beach. Silly mainlanders think they are just dumb animals that eat grass and end up being burgers. Locals know that they are far more intelligent; your average Hebridean cow can not only write, but also give directions to lost tourists:


So there you go. Cows on a beach. Rated 18 for bad language, extreme bovine violence, and images of udder gratification. Cue a shot of Samuel L. Jackson reprising his role from the film by barricading himself and the remaining local crofters on top of a sand dune, armed only with a black pudding from the butchers in Castlebay, while shouting "Enough is enough! I have had it with these **** cows on this **** beach!"  

1 comment:

  1. Where can i find copies of these pictures? Is there a book or screen saver with these photographs on them? I moved from Scotland 19 years ago and live here in Utah USA. I how beautiful Scotland is..Please let me know if you have any information concerning my questions.Thank you, Tom O'Brien.PS The photographs are stunning.